You are God's Lover

“Soul, if you want to learn secrets,

your heart must forget about
shame
 and dignity.
You are God's lover,

yet you worry
what people
are saying.”

-- Rumi

Honoring Loneliness

Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly. 
Let it cut more deep. 

Let it ferment and season you as few human or even divine ingredients can. 

Something missing in my heart tonight
has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender,

My need of God 
Absolutely 
Clear.

-Hafiz

What We Could See....

If I could meet myself again
as a tiny little girl,
with a wide-open and unobstructed consciousness,

I would tell her to close her eyes,
and go ahead,
and try to see what she could find deep within herself.

I would tell her to expect that it would be beautiful and wonderful ---
and only sometimes a little bit terrible,

and I would tell her about how even those terrible parts need to be honored and included in a careful way.

I know now that she would then be able to see
how the whole Universe was there -
with her
and
within her.

Always.


--Whitney Logan, 11.1.13

God

I looked up into the sky yesterday.
And saw the Face of God.

That face was ever changing.
Every shape and being,
Terrible and wonderful.

I begged for forgiveness for trying to speak at all,
Yet could neither keep from singing or shouting
About the tender Mystery.

Every form is Yours, O Lord.

Today I borrow language from an ancient tradition, but only now know what it means.

The people who first wrote music to the Lord
Must have had a similar
Hidden audience with This glory.

To write at all of Love and Longing
Is like trying to describe a cry
For that which is most Holy.

-- Whitney Logan

Divine Conversation

I am so close, I may look distant.
So completely mixed with you, I may look separate.
So out in the open, I appear hidden.
So silent, because I am constantly talking with you.

-- Rumi

Love

"Surrendering completely to love, be it human or divine, means giving up everything, including our own well-being or our ability to make decisions. The truth is that we don't want to be saved in the way God has chosen; we want to keep absolute control over our every step, to be fully conscious of our decisions, to be capable of choosing the object of our devotion.  But it isn't like that with love - it arrives, moves in, and starts directing everything.  Only very strong souls allow themselves to be swept along."

-- Paulo Coelho

Restor(y)ing the Religious Body

I like retelling Bible stories for a modern audience for two main reasons.  A) I feel that these are some of the most misunderstood and misinterpreted collective tales of our time, and B) most of the writings, teachings, and opinions about these stories seem to be a bit polarizing.  Often these stories have been hijacked by parties that aim to concretize the Mystery, and thus either understand these stories literally, or to discount them as such, and subsequently reject their relevance or interpret them only symbolically.

The assumption, of course, is that those two views are mutually exclusive and we need to pick a side in the debate.  It’s like our current political system:  Either, or.  Right, wrong.  Black, white.  If it’s this, it can’t be that.  Stalemate!  My argument is that perhaps both perspectives are only inadequate in their exclusion of the Other.  What wants to be whole is fragmented, and the original invitation becomes a message of profound alienation.

For example, consider the miracle of the Virgin Birth in the Christian tradition.  What if it doesn't matter if it happened exactly the way it was written down, but that it does matter that it happened to be written down exactly the way it was?  I know that I took that story literally for many decades, then rejected it completely for several years, and finally circled back around to it one day with renewed reverence.  I felt it had finally yielded it's essential teaching to me:  when the Holiness of Spirit is made manifest inside of a consciously receptive human being, Christ consciousness is born.  Or, in other words, willing Spirit + receptive body = a being that is both fully human and fully divine.

A paradox.  The Mystery.

So, what then does this Being who is fully human and fully divine do with their time on earth according to these same teachings?  Love and be loved, heal the sick, feed the hungry, be in community, and tell stories that help people remember the Mystery.  I believe that Jesus literally and symbolically did what we needed him to do in order to get our collective attention, shift the cultural-religious paradigm, and then invite us all to access our unique connection to Indwelling Divinity.  That was a radical message!  And it seems that Jesus would have to demonstrate his own divinity + humanity first.

The resurrection from death was a literal happening awesome enough that we would be able to hear its sounds reverberating for thousands of generations afterwards.  I believe that Jesus, the master storyteller, used his own life in order to create a kind of master Story that might reach us on a symbolic level no matter how many people and systems tried to translate and edit it according to their own agenda.

Perhaps "the gospel message" is both concealed and revealed by the gospel message itself.

Another paradox.  More of the same Mystery.

I imagine that this is often the hardest teaching for us to accept about ourselves: the reality of being fully human and fully divine simultaneously.  The dis-ease in the Hebrew culture at the time was a belief in separateness from God.  The dis-ease in our time might be a belief that there is no God.  I'm saying that both of those are a mistake, and that the literal-symbolic Virgin Birth, Crucifixion, Death, and Resurrection calls us into a radically different story.

The Gospel According to Mary Magdalene

Pages 1-6 are missing.

     "… Will m[a]tter then be utterly [destr]oyed or not?"
     The Savior replied, "Every nature, every modeled form, every creature, exists in and with each other. They will dissolve again into their own proper root. For the nature of matter is dissolved into what belongs to its nature. Anyone with two ears able to hear should listen!"
     Then Peter said to him, "You have been explaining every topic to us; tell us one other thing. What is the sin of the world?"
     The Savior replied, "There is no such thing as sin; rather you yourselves are what produces sin when you act in accordance with the nature of adultery, which is called 'sin.' For this reason, the Good came among you, pursuing (the good) which belongs to every nature. It will set it within its root."
     Then he continued. He said, "This is why you get si[c]k and die: because [you love] what de[c]ei[ve]s [you]. [Anyone who] thinks should consider (these matters)!
     "[Ma]tter gav[e bi]rth to a passion which has no Image because it derives from what is contrary to nature. A disturbing confusion then occurred in the whole body. That is why I told you, 'Become content at heart, while also remaining discontent and disobedient; indeed become contented and agreeable (only) in the presence of that other Image of nature.' Anyone with two ears capable of hearing should listen!"
     When the Blessed One had said these things, he greeted them all. "Peace be with you!" he said. "Acquire my peace within yourselves!
     "Be on your guard so that no one deceives you by saying, 'Look over here!' or 'Look over there!' For the child of true Humanity exists within you. Follow it! Those who search for it will find it.
     "Go then, preac[h] the good news about the Realm. [Do] not lay down any rule beyond what I determined for you, nor promulgate law like the lawgiver, or else you might be dominated by it."
After he had said these things, he departed from them.
     But they were distressed and wept greatly. "How are we going to go out to the rest of the world to announce the good news about the Realm of the child of true Humanity?" they said. "If they did not spare him, how will they spare us?"
     Then Mary stood up. She greeted them all, addressing her brothers and sisters, "Do not weep and be distressed nor let your hearts be irresolute. For his grace will be with you all and will shelter you. Rather we should praise his greatness, for he has prepared us and made us true Human beings."
      When Mary had said these things, she turned their heart [to]ward the Good, and they began to deba[t]e about the wor[d]s of [the Savior].
     Peter said to Mary, "Sister, we know that the Savior loved you more than all other women. Tell us the words of the Savior that you remember, the things which you know that we don't because we haven't heard them."
     Mary responded, "I will teach you about what is hidden from you." And she began to speak these words to them.
     She said, "I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to him, 'Lord, I saw you today in a vision.'
He answered me, 'How wonderful you are for not wavering at seeing me! For where the mind is, there is the treasure.'
     I said to him, 'So now, Lord, does a person who sees a vision see it <with> the soul <or> with the spirit?'
     The Savior answered, 'A person does not see with the soul or with the spirit. 'Rather the mind, which exists between these two, sees the vision an[d] that is w[hat … ]'

(Pages 11-14 are missing.)

     " '… it.'
     "And Desire said, 'I did not see you go down, yet now I see you go up. So why do you lie since you belong to me?'
     "The soul answered, 'I saw you. You did not see me nor did you know me. You (mis)took the garment (I wore) for my (true) self. And you did not recognize me.'
     "After it had said these things, it left rejoicing greatly.
     "Again, it came to the third Power, which is called 'Ignorance.' [It] examined the soul closely, saying, 'Where are you going? You are bound by wickedness. Indeed you are bound! Do not judge!'
     "And the soul said, 'Why do you judge me, since I have not passed judgement? I have been bound, but I have not bound (anything). They did not recognize me, but I have recognized that the universe is to be dissolved, both the things of earth and those of heaven.'
     "When the soul had brought the third Power to naught, it went upward and saw the fourth Power. It had seven forms. The first form is darkness; the second is desire; the third is ignorance; the fourth is zeal for death; the fifth is the realm of the flesh; the sixth is the foolish wisdom of the flesh; the seventh is the wisdom of the wrathful person. These are the seven Powers of Wrath.
     "They interrogated the soul, 'Where are you coming from, human-killer, and where are you going, space-conqueror?'
     "The soul replied, saying, 'What binds me has been slain, and what surrounds me has been destroyed, and my desire has been brought to an end, and ignorance has died. In a [wor]ld, I was set loose from a world [an]d in a type, from a type which is above, and (from) the chain of forgetfulness which exists in time. From this hour on, for the time of the due season of the aeon, I will receive rest i[n] silence.' "
     After Mary had said these things, she was silent, since it was up to this point that the Savior had spoken to her.
     Andrew responded, addressing the brothers and sisters, "Say what you will about the things she has said, but I do not believe that the S[a]vior said these things, f[or] indeed these teachings are strange ideas."
     Peter responded, bringing up similar concerns. He questioned them about the Savior: "Did he, then, speak with a woman in private without our knowing about it? Are we to turn around and listen to her? Did he choose her over us?"
     Then [M]ary wept and said to Peter, "My brother Peter, what are you imagining? Do you think that I have thought up these things by myself in my heart or that I am telling lies about the Savior?"
Levi answered, speaking to Peter, "Peter, you have always been a wrathful person. Now I see you contending against the woman like the Adversaries. For if the Savior made her worthy, who are you then for your part to reject her? Assuredly the Savior's knowledge of her is completely reliable. That is why he loved her more than us.
     "Rather we should be ashamed. We should clothe ourselves with the perfect Human, acquire it for ourselves as he commanded us, and announce the good news, not laying down any other rule or law that differs from what the Savior said."
     After [he had said these] things, they started going out [to] teach and to preach.

Lord's Prayer

O Cosmic Birther of all radiance and vibration.
Soften the ground of our being and carve out
a space within us where your presence can abide.
Fill us with your creativity so that we may be
empowered to bear the fruit of (y)our mission.
Let each of our actions bear fruit in accordance with your desire.
Endow us with your wisdom to produce and
share what each being needs to grow and flourish.
Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us
as we release others from the entanglement of past mistakes.
Do not let us be seduced by that which would
divert us from our true purpose, but illuminate
the opportunities of the present moment.
For you are the ground and the fruitful vision,
the birth power and fulfillment,
As all is gathered and made whole again.
Amen.

-- Directly translated from the original Aramaic

Confession

I used to belong to a very charismatic evangelical Christian community when I was very young.

Ever since formally leaving that community I've wondered how to make sense of the power I witnessed then.

At first I tried to live without respect for religion altogether,
But my longing for the Great Spirit was still within me.

No high in the world was like the Ecstasy I remembered
When encountering the Lord God Almighty.

So, finally, I surrendered
Letting grief and fear visit me.
And a part of my heart returned with them.

Caring about my own suffering returned me to myself.

Yesterday, it dawned on me how to reconcile ephemeral worldviews along the journey.

The way the Lover longs to see their Beloved's face from all angles, I want to discover God in every Place.
To know God in precisely the biblical sense of the word: "visceral, erotic, initiatory, epiphanic".

Changing who I AM
With every Encounter.

I approach the Throne Room shyly now; peering up from behind lowered eyes so carefully.

This way of Loving God is what has truly Saved me.

Creation Stories

"In the Beginning, Nothingness longed for Love.  And so it was made possible: this planet of contrast, where the play of opposites could Become the dance of Love that was longed for at the start".  -- mine