"Forget about enlightenment.
Sit down wherever you are
And listen to the wind singing in your veins".
-John Welwood
Thursday, August 30, 2012
The intelligence of opposites.
Fortunately for me, I have had the very good fortune of being psychologically reared within a Jungian framework of human development. This has allowed me to become increasingly comfortable with what often feels like endless cycles of learning and unlearning and relearning all over again. Carl Jung calls this "integrating the opposites", and considers this process to be the central principle of individuation. From a theoretical perspective, he posits that everything we think we know is simply an initial "thesis", which must be psychically balanced out by an initially unknown opposite or "antithesis". This antithesis is at first constellated in the unconscious, and we are therefore entirely unaware of its presence until we are somehow forced to acknowledge it.
Recognizing and allowing any antithesis into consciousness is rarely a comfortable process for us because it typically threatens our very fragile sense of security. Since we are creatures who have learned to feel safe in the world by labeling, categorizing, understanding, predicting, and controlling our environment, we can start to feel powerfully threatened when what we've come to rely upon is being questioned in some way. However, the real creative treasure in all of this can only be found when we are willing to hold both our thesis and its antithesis with a degree of consciousness. IF we can find the courage to consider not knowing what we think we know, then the stunning miracle of "synthesis" has a chance of occurring! For example: "I'm right and you're wrong" might have the chance of becoming "I wonder if I could learn something I don't already know from this person who disagrees with my idea". A completely gorgeous possibility for growth, right? Unconvinced? Here's a classic scientific application of this idea: "Turns out, light is both a wave and a particle!".
While musing over this particular psychological process the other day, it occurred to me that this kind of thinking is actually the ironic antithesis of fundamentalist thinking. That notion made me feel really curious about the psychological principles and patterns that govern fundamentalism. I appreciate that the term fundamentalism is most often associated with theological and religious identifications, but I think I'd like to extrapolate the term and include rigid political identifications too. This interests me so much right now because I think we can all appreciate our current political climate of divisive, ineffective chaos. Yes? Sure!
I haven't come to any definite conclusions because I'm trying to be a good student of my own philosophy, but I have begun to wonder what happens to someone (psychologically) when they decide that they know anything at all absolutely. Maybe that's the point at which we risk becoming identified with our own sentiments, and consequently unwilling to look at them critically. It seems to me that a person in that position would thereby have to expend a lot of energy protecting themselves from anything that contradicts their particular thesis. Tragically, the above theoretical discussion seems to suggest that the possibility of growth would also come to a screeching halt at that exact point of psychological defense.
I'm not sure how to make this notion of "integrating the opposites" sound less threatening and more appealing for people. Nonetheless, it seems increasingly insane to think that shouting at each other from our polarized positions will allow anything new to emerge. Instead, I'd like to imagine a conversation about health care or taxes that didn't start with defensive posturing, but began with curiosity about the opposite of what we think we know.....
Recognizing and allowing any antithesis into consciousness is rarely a comfortable process for us because it typically threatens our very fragile sense of security. Since we are creatures who have learned to feel safe in the world by labeling, categorizing, understanding, predicting, and controlling our environment, we can start to feel powerfully threatened when what we've come to rely upon is being questioned in some way. However, the real creative treasure in all of this can only be found when we are willing to hold both our thesis and its antithesis with a degree of consciousness. IF we can find the courage to consider not knowing what we think we know, then the stunning miracle of "synthesis" has a chance of occurring! For example: "I'm right and you're wrong" might have the chance of becoming "I wonder if I could learn something I don't already know from this person who disagrees with my idea". A completely gorgeous possibility for growth, right? Unconvinced? Here's a classic scientific application of this idea: "Turns out, light is both a wave and a particle!".
While musing over this particular psychological process the other day, it occurred to me that this kind of thinking is actually the ironic antithesis of fundamentalist thinking. That notion made me feel really curious about the psychological principles and patterns that govern fundamentalism. I appreciate that the term fundamentalism is most often associated with theological and religious identifications, but I think I'd like to extrapolate the term and include rigid political identifications too. This interests me so much right now because I think we can all appreciate our current political climate of divisive, ineffective chaos. Yes? Sure!
I haven't come to any definite conclusions because I'm trying to be a good student of my own philosophy, but I have begun to wonder what happens to someone (psychologically) when they decide that they know anything at all absolutely. Maybe that's the point at which we risk becoming identified with our own sentiments, and consequently unwilling to look at them critically. It seems to me that a person in that position would thereby have to expend a lot of energy protecting themselves from anything that contradicts their particular thesis. Tragically, the above theoretical discussion seems to suggest that the possibility of growth would also come to a screeching halt at that exact point of psychological defense.
I'm not sure how to make this notion of "integrating the opposites" sound less threatening and more appealing for people. Nonetheless, it seems increasingly insane to think that shouting at each other from our polarized positions will allow anything new to emerge. Instead, I'd like to imagine a conversation about health care or taxes that didn't start with defensive posturing, but began with curiosity about the opposite of what we think we know.....
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Looking for God.
I've been having a spiritual love affair with Rumi for years and years, and I still never grow tired of what he invites us to remember:
'Lo, I am with you always' means when you look for God,
God is in the look of your eyes,
in the thought of looking, nearer to you than your self,
or things that have happened to you.
There's no need to go outside.
-Rumi
'Lo, I am with you always' means when you look for God,
God is in the look of your eyes,
in the thought of looking, nearer to you than your self,
or things that have happened to you.
There's no need to go outside.
-Rumi
Saturday, August 25, 2012
The gift of pain.
I've been thinking a lot about hurt and pain, as I've experienced quite a bit of both (in many different manifestations) lately. The most fascinating thing about all this recent physical and psychological suffering is that I'm genuinely grateful for it. In fact, as I've been working towards finding out what messages this pain may have for me, I'm becoming able to let go of some old habits that are no longer serving me. And within this new very hard-won freedom, I'm also discovering a creative new space in which I can become different in ways that serve me much better.
As I've been reflecting on this process, I'm reminded of two things from two different very wise spiritual teachers. The first is something the Dalai Lama said at a conference I attended in Chicago this past spring. He was talking about his time as a youth in school, and made a reference to this set of whips the monks would use to discipline their students. He explained to the audience that the monks used both a brown whip and a yellow whip, and that the yellow whip was referred to as the 'holy whip'. His point? Holy pain does not hurt any less.
There's courage involved if you want to become truth.
There is a broken-open place in a lover.
Where are those qualities of bravery and sharp compassion?
What's the use of old and frozen thought?
I want a howling hurt.
This is not a treasury where gold is stored; this is for copper.
We alchemists look for talent that can heat up and change.
Lukewarm won't do.
Halfhearted holding back, well-enough getting by?
Not here.
-Rumi
As I've been reflecting on this process, I'm reminded of two things from two different very wise spiritual teachers. The first is something the Dalai Lama said at a conference I attended in Chicago this past spring. He was talking about his time as a youth in school, and made a reference to this set of whips the monks would use to discipline their students. He explained to the audience that the monks used both a brown whip and a yellow whip, and that the yellow whip was referred to as the 'holy whip'. His point? Holy pain does not hurt any less.
I think I often want the spiritual path to be a little less painful than the non-spiritual path. And I suppose it is less painful in some ways because suffering can be worked with skillfully, and meaning can be made from it. But to echo the Dalai Lama: IT STILL HURTS LIKE HELL.
Nonetheless, I'm aware today that I needed this recent round of painful blows in order to wake up to more of who I truly want to become. The second spiritual teacher I alluded to above may have said it best:
Nonetheless, I'm aware today that I needed this recent round of painful blows in order to wake up to more of who I truly want to become. The second spiritual teacher I alluded to above may have said it best:
There's courage involved if you want to become truth.
There is a broken-open place in a lover.
Where are those qualities of bravery and sharp compassion?
What's the use of old and frozen thought?
I want a howling hurt.
This is not a treasury where gold is stored; this is for copper.
We alchemists look for talent that can heat up and change.
Lukewarm won't do.
Halfhearted holding back, well-enough getting by?
Not here.
-Rumi
Friday, August 24, 2012
Non-violence
Hafiz was once asked by a young woman,
"How can you tell if someone knows God?"
Hafiz was silent awhile.
Looking into her eyes, he then said,
"My dear, they have dropped the knife.
They have dropped the cruel knife which is so often used on their own tender selves and others."
"How can you tell if someone knows God?"
Hafiz was silent awhile.
Looking into her eyes, he then said,
"My dear, they have dropped the knife.
They have dropped the cruel knife which is so often used on their own tender selves and others."
Approaching The Mystery
Rumi says there are three ways - and subsequent stages - of learning how to approach The Mystery:
The first - Prayer.
A step up from that - Meditation.
And the step beyond that - Conversation.
The first - Prayer.
A step up from that - Meditation.
And the step beyond that - Conversation.
Self-love.
I think it's both an exquisite miracle and a profound difficulty to consciously relate to the predicament we're all in together: eternal spirits dwelling within living bodies. There are so many ongoing paradoxes inside of that experience, and it can get really uncomfortable sometimes. Recently I have been forced to deal with the particularly uncomfortable paradox of recognizing my own body's limits.
I spent several days in a hospital bed hooked up to bags of IV fluids and other contraptions to monitor things like blood pressure, oxygen level, and heart rate. Dozens of medical personnel drew my blood, took my temperature, gave me shots to keep my blood from clotting, told me what to eat, helped me use the bathroom, and reminded me that I couldn't change my circumstances by being angry about them.
So, I wound up with a stark set of choices (literally only two!) about how to respond: be with what was happening or not. At first, I tried the latter b/c it was both excruciating and so frustrating. And then I remembered that I did actually want to find a way to be with my experience no matter how excruciating because I'm aware that I've got this ongoing moment-to-moment privilege in which I can CHOOSE not to abandon myself.
That moment of recognition and/or remembering felt like a whole mind+body+spirit sigh. I stopped resisting my own immediate experience, and came home to it. It felt humbling and healing at once. And I also gained a lot of information about what my body was trying to help me remember. For example, I could see how my human limits were not a liability, but instead this perfect place in which my spirit could wake up to this this wildly healing and humbling human capacity we call 'love'. In this case, self-love.
Self-love gets a lot of lip service in most of the circles I run in, but I'm not always convinced that any of us really want to surrender to it totally. I think one of the reasons we struggle with this so much is that we can't really practice self-love without really getting intimate with our immediate experience of ourselves. That's an intimidating prerequisite for self-love because being a human being means that we are going to encounter all kinds of suffering and shame and fear and pain and anxiety and loss and chaos. It's no wonder we would want to avoid ourselves sometimes.
Yet my recent attempt at rejecting my own painful experience (this time it was physical pain, but I tend to try to reject pain in all of its forms!) reminded me again that the only real opportunity we've got to experience self-love is in the way we choose to be with the immediacy of whatever it is that we're experiencing right now.
I spent several days in a hospital bed hooked up to bags of IV fluids and other contraptions to monitor things like blood pressure, oxygen level, and heart rate. Dozens of medical personnel drew my blood, took my temperature, gave me shots to keep my blood from clotting, told me what to eat, helped me use the bathroom, and reminded me that I couldn't change my circumstances by being angry about them.
So, I wound up with a stark set of choices (literally only two!) about how to respond: be with what was happening or not. At first, I tried the latter b/c it was both excruciating and so frustrating. And then I remembered that I did actually want to find a way to be with my experience no matter how excruciating because I'm aware that I've got this ongoing moment-to-moment privilege in which I can CHOOSE not to abandon myself.
That moment of recognition and/or remembering felt like a whole mind+body+spirit sigh. I stopped resisting my own immediate experience, and came home to it. It felt humbling and healing at once. And I also gained a lot of information about what my body was trying to help me remember. For example, I could see how my human limits were not a liability, but instead this perfect place in which my spirit could wake up to this this wildly healing and humbling human capacity we call 'love'. In this case, self-love.
Self-love gets a lot of lip service in most of the circles I run in, but I'm not always convinced that any of us really want to surrender to it totally. I think one of the reasons we struggle with this so much is that we can't really practice self-love without really getting intimate with our immediate experience of ourselves. That's an intimidating prerequisite for self-love because being a human being means that we are going to encounter all kinds of suffering and shame and fear and pain and anxiety and loss and chaos. It's no wonder we would want to avoid ourselves sometimes.
Yet my recent attempt at rejecting my own painful experience (this time it was physical pain, but I tend to try to reject pain in all of its forms!) reminded me again that the only real opportunity we've got to experience self-love is in the way we choose to be with the immediacy of whatever it is that we're experiencing right now.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Trusting the Divine Unction Within
"You must give birth to your images.
They are the future waiting to be born.
Fear not the strangeness you feel.
The future must enter you long before it happens.
Just wait for the birth, for the the hour of the new clarity."
- Rainer Maria Rilke
They are the future waiting to be born.
Fear not the strangeness you feel.
The future must enter you long before it happens.
Just wait for the birth, for the the hour of the new clarity."
- Rainer Maria Rilke
Muir Woods
Recently I spent some time in Muir Woods, a national monument of ancient coastal redwood trees near the San Francisco Bay area. For reasons I could not understand immediately, being with the trees made me feel overwhelmingly tender and reverent. At some point, I wound up sitting with my back against an opening in the trunk of one of these giant trees. Pressing myself into the base of this tree, I eventually had something like a conversation with it. Over time, I've decided that this conversation is something I want to keep sharing with others:
(- from my 'conversation' with the spirit of Muir Woods).
It's more than beloved
The heartbeat of the earth is my own
This is the planet of contrast
Where love and beauty can pierce our ideas of separateness
And return us back to belonging
Here, we get to both love and be this planet
In fact, it's possible that there are no mistakes
There's certainly no one to blame
For the contrast in our own experience
We may choose to teach the ego to submit to this Unity
And even in times of great pain and discomfort
There is a space of awareness that can care about this too,
Thus returning us to the kingdom of grace
By means of our own awakened hearts.
(- from my 'conversation' with the spirit of Muir Woods).
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Make Love of Yourself Perfect
You are perfect, only you don’t know it.
Learn to know yourself and you will discover wonders.
All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love.
Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors.
Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of the love you bear for yourself;
all I plead with you is this: make love of yourself perfect.
Deny yourself nothing – give yourself infinity and eternity and discover that
you do not need them; you are beyond.
-- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
Learn to know yourself and you will discover wonders.
All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love.
Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors.
Your constant flight from pain and search for pleasure is a sign of the love you bear for yourself;
all I plead with you is this: make love of yourself perfect.
Deny yourself nothing – give yourself infinity and eternity and discover that
you do not need them; you are beyond.
-- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Job
Once upon a time I was a Religion major at a Baptist university. During that time I learned many, many wonderful things about the sacred texts from Jewish and Christian traditions. I also learned how tragically watered-down and misunderstood some of those Bible stories have become in their modern Western mainstream translations.
One of my favorite examples of this comes from the book of Job. Before learning the actual Hebrew translations of the words and the historical context of Job's interactions with God, I had assumed this was a tale about how we should all learn to take whatever God is dishing out with a stiff upper lip and a smile. Turns out, I was POWERFULLY mistaken.
The real miracle of this story is that before Job went toe to toe with God (crying, cursing, screaming, blaming, doubting, and demanding justice), there was this really punitive theology that dominated that culture's beliefs at the time. The technical term is called Deuteronomic Theology, and its basic premise is that you can tell who God loves most by a person's material wealth, overall health, and number of children. Seriously. It's different in application, but similar in philosophy to the belief systems that govern things like the caste system in India. Belief systems like this allow us to get away with ignoring the suffering of others, and keep us in superficial relationship with the Divine.
Satan plays a role in this story too, which is curious on a lot of levels. First of all, it reminds me to let you know that the Hebrew translation for the word that became "satan" in English literally means "the accuser". Yep. That's a good thing to remember b/c it alerts us that "the accuser" is an enemy of Love. I have to work really hard to try to hold onto that truth because the energy of "the accuser" seems to rise up within us in such subtle, sneaky ways sometimes.
But, I digress. Back to Job. So, Satan accuses Job (behind his back, of course!) of only loving God b/c God has been so generous with him. SO sneaky, right? Ugh. But God decides to take up this challenge, a deal is struck, and God hedges his bets that Job will prove that his love for God is real despite his outer circumstances. I hate this part of the story because it's hard not to want to get in the ring and demand answers on Job's behalf too! Which just might be the point. Because Job reacted similarly - but on a grand scale. Job's friends, however, basically begged him to stop crying out for justice from God and to admit that he had some secret unconfessed sin for which he was now being justly punished. A couple things here: A) the word "sin" literally translated simply means "to miss the mark". B) THOSE ARE BAD FRIENDS. And God agreed.
In fact, when God does answer Job with his presence, he is stunning and terrifying and all sorts of God-like, BUT he is not displeased with Job in anyway. Guess who he's super angry with instead? Job's friends! He's especially irritated b/c those guys were so busy talking about God, claiming to serve and know him from that place. But Job (God's favorite) shouted at, pleaded with, talked directly to, and demanded a personal response from the Source of Life itself. God decided that this kind of passion was the ultimate demonstration of faith and love in the Divine, and eventually rewarded Job's faith and love in many ways (note: the eventual reward did not diminish or erase his initial suffering). Job's friends, on the other hand, were on God's shit-list in a major way. God responded to them by deciding that they were not even fit to make penance to God on their own behalves, but would have to rely on Job's generosity and see if he would make sacrificial offerings for them.
So, why is this my favorite tale?! Well, because it's so full of good news you can actually use. First of all, I think it suggests (on an archetypal level) that real intimacy with the Divine requires real honesty... no matter how dark and despairing. Another piece of brilliance in this story seems to demonstrate to us that even the darkest, most menacing accusatory energy can be responded to in a way that might transform a whole system of thought, way of being, or cultural attitude! Lastly, I LOVE that part of Job's capacity to believe so fiercely in God's goodness was connected to Job's willingness to keep his heart open towards himself too. He knew he was worthy Divine love and favor.
Basically this: HE DID NOT BELIEVE THE VOICE OF THE ACCUSER, but instead pounded his fists furiously against the doors that open into Love.
One of my favorite examples of this comes from the book of Job. Before learning the actual Hebrew translations of the words and the historical context of Job's interactions with God, I had assumed this was a tale about how we should all learn to take whatever God is dishing out with a stiff upper lip and a smile. Turns out, I was POWERFULLY mistaken.
The real miracle of this story is that before Job went toe to toe with God (crying, cursing, screaming, blaming, doubting, and demanding justice), there was this really punitive theology that dominated that culture's beliefs at the time. The technical term is called Deuteronomic Theology, and its basic premise is that you can tell who God loves most by a person's material wealth, overall health, and number of children. Seriously. It's different in application, but similar in philosophy to the belief systems that govern things like the caste system in India. Belief systems like this allow us to get away with ignoring the suffering of others, and keep us in superficial relationship with the Divine.
Satan plays a role in this story too, which is curious on a lot of levels. First of all, it reminds me to let you know that the Hebrew translation for the word that became "satan" in English literally means "the accuser". Yep. That's a good thing to remember b/c it alerts us that "the accuser" is an enemy of Love. I have to work really hard to try to hold onto that truth because the energy of "the accuser" seems to rise up within us in such subtle, sneaky ways sometimes.
But, I digress. Back to Job. So, Satan accuses Job (behind his back, of course!) of only loving God b/c God has been so generous with him. SO sneaky, right? Ugh. But God decides to take up this challenge, a deal is struck, and God hedges his bets that Job will prove that his love for God is real despite his outer circumstances. I hate this part of the story because it's hard not to want to get in the ring and demand answers on Job's behalf too! Which just might be the point. Because Job reacted similarly - but on a grand scale. Job's friends, however, basically begged him to stop crying out for justice from God and to admit that he had some secret unconfessed sin for which he was now being justly punished. A couple things here: A) the word "sin" literally translated simply means "to miss the mark". B) THOSE ARE BAD FRIENDS. And God agreed.
In fact, when God does answer Job with his presence, he is stunning and terrifying and all sorts of God-like, BUT he is not displeased with Job in anyway. Guess who he's super angry with instead? Job's friends! He's especially irritated b/c those guys were so busy talking about God, claiming to serve and know him from that place. But Job (God's favorite) shouted at, pleaded with, talked directly to, and demanded a personal response from the Source of Life itself. God decided that this kind of passion was the ultimate demonstration of faith and love in the Divine, and eventually rewarded Job's faith and love in many ways (note: the eventual reward did not diminish or erase his initial suffering). Job's friends, on the other hand, were on God's shit-list in a major way. God responded to them by deciding that they were not even fit to make penance to God on their own behalves, but would have to rely on Job's generosity and see if he would make sacrificial offerings for them.
So, why is this my favorite tale?! Well, because it's so full of good news you can actually use. First of all, I think it suggests (on an archetypal level) that real intimacy with the Divine requires real honesty... no matter how dark and despairing. Another piece of brilliance in this story seems to demonstrate to us that even the darkest, most menacing accusatory energy can be responded to in a way that might transform a whole system of thought, way of being, or cultural attitude! Lastly, I LOVE that part of Job's capacity to believe so fiercely in God's goodness was connected to Job's willingness to keep his heart open towards himself too. He knew he was worthy Divine love and favor.
Basically this: HE DID NOT BELIEVE THE VOICE OF THE ACCUSER, but instead pounded his fists furiously against the doors that open into Love.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Body Language
I've been reading and learning A LOT about the intelligence of the body lately, which has taken me on a fascinating journey into the writings of Wilhelm Reich (possibly the grandfather of body-based psychotherapy, which is often termed somatic psychology). His experiential work allowed him to discover that "character" is a both a biological and psychological phenomenon. In fact, he considered emotions to be manifest expressions of "plasmatic movements of tangible bio-energy" (Reich, 1935/1972, p. 356). I'm not entirely sure I understand his language well enough to paraphrase it, but fortunately other people have done that for us. Susan Aposhyan summarizes his findings in her book "Body-Mind Psychotherapy" in a way that helped me understand his conclusions in a profoundly empowering psychological context. She suggests that Reich used clinical observations in conjunction with observations from natural science to find out how the mind and the body armor themselves in exactly the same way. Reich was then able to develop a theory of "character armor", which attempts to expose the ways in which we inhibit our authentic emotional and/or energetic expressions by means of muscle control. FASCINATING, right?!
So, naturally -- I started to get really curious about this relationship. In fact, I've been working on myself and others in this way ever since. And as it turns out, this is absolutely true: the body reflects the mind, and the mind reflects the body precisely. We hold our bodies in the same defensive or aggressive ways that we try to hold ourselves psychologically.
Don't believe it just yet? Try these exercises out: the next time you experience a tension headache, ask yourself about your relationship to self-criticism. And the next time you have upper back, shoulder, or neck pain - try finding out which side of the body it's most concentrated. If it's on the right side, ask yourself about your own feelings of "significance" in relation to self-esteem. If it's on the left side, start exploring your beliefs about "belonging" in relation to self-esteem, as well. Knee pain or inflammation? Think about your attitudes concerning stubbornness and death energy.
After you've played around with those for awhile, start finding out what happens if you can relate to these issues by engaging the body and the mind simultaneously! And if you need it, ask for help from people who know how to work these intelligences skillfully.
So, naturally -- I started to get really curious about this relationship. In fact, I've been working on myself and others in this way ever since. And as it turns out, this is absolutely true: the body reflects the mind, and the mind reflects the body precisely. We hold our bodies in the same defensive or aggressive ways that we try to hold ourselves psychologically.
Don't believe it just yet? Try these exercises out: the next time you experience a tension headache, ask yourself about your relationship to self-criticism. And the next time you have upper back, shoulder, or neck pain - try finding out which side of the body it's most concentrated. If it's on the right side, ask yourself about your own feelings of "significance" in relation to self-esteem. If it's on the left side, start exploring your beliefs about "belonging" in relation to self-esteem, as well. Knee pain or inflammation? Think about your attitudes concerning stubbornness and death energy.
After you've played around with those for awhile, start finding out what happens if you can relate to these issues by engaging the body and the mind simultaneously! And if you need it, ask for help from people who know how to work these intelligences skillfully.
Human Friendship
Without a net, I catch a falcon
and release it to the sky, hunting
God. This wine I drink today was
never held in a clay jar. I love
this world, even as I hear the great
wind of leaving it rising, for there
is a grainy taste I prefer to every
idea of heaven: human friendship.
-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)
and release it to the sky, hunting
God. This wine I drink today was
never held in a clay jar. I love
this world, even as I hear the great
wind of leaving it rising, for there
is a grainy taste I prefer to every
idea of heaven: human friendship.
-Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)
"Welcome back to the Garden / You never left!"
One of my favorite teachers, Tara Brach, has a beautiful weekly podcast, which always feels like an invitation to remember our deep belonging to one another. Her latest teaching is titled Back to the Garden, and it guarantees reconnection to yourselves and others in a tender, visceral way.
Personal note: as soon as I realized that I had ever left the Garden at all, I became aware that I also wanted to find my way home to It. The longing terrified me initially because I didn't know where the Garden was located, nor whether I would be welcomed home to It. This particular teacher, Tara Brach, was one of the first voices that helped me believe it might be a good idea to go looking for the Garden within myself.
.... And now I can't imagine wanting to live a life where I had never risked stepping onto that path.
Personal note: as soon as I realized that I had ever left the Garden at all, I became aware that I also wanted to find my way home to It. The longing terrified me initially because I didn't know where the Garden was located, nor whether I would be welcomed home to It. This particular teacher, Tara Brach, was one of the first voices that helped me believe it might be a good idea to go looking for the Garden within myself.
.... And now I can't imagine wanting to live a life where I had never risked stepping onto that path.
The truth about belonging.
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~ Mary Oliver
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~ Mary Oliver
Some words I wrote once.
Your heart is breaking?
Let it.
Follow the sound of your own waves
Crashing.
Somewhere, there is a shoreline.
But you can’t get there
On any other ship,
Than the one that learns how to move
Through the honest rhythms
Of your very own heart.
How to Dialogue with Emotions
One of the very best conversations I've ever had the privilege to overhear came from an interview with a gifted empath named Karla McLaren. She spoke about the necessary genius of emotions, and spent some time coaching listeners on intelligent ways to work with their own emotions. I was reminded again about the brilliance that can be found in every human experience. Unfortunately, however, I was also forced to remember how much of our personal and collective genius gets relegated by our cultures attempts at social control. Karla pointed out that while we are taught to read, write, do arithmetic, operate computers, and even how to practice safe sex before we graduate elementary school -- our only emotional education centers around learning which emotions are acceptable and which are not.
From her own experience as a survivor of childhood trauma, however, Karla learned the hard way that "bad" emotions do not disappear just because we call them names and try to shut them out. In fact, they seem to only grow in ferocity and then erupt unconsciously. Some of the greatest minds and hearts of all time have agreed with this sentiment, FYI (Buddha, Jung, Rumi). From my own experience working with difficult emotions, I too completely agree that this lop-sided strategy is a sad mismanagement of a brilliant kind of intelligence!
Karla teaches us that we can begin to trust ourselves to dialogue with our emotions by learning the function of each emotion first. She talks about how free-flowing anger allows us to understand our own boundaries, while fear signals us to pay attention and take appropriate action. She goes on to redeem even the most shunned emotional experiences -- such as jealousy, envy, major depression, and even suicidal urges. It's as if she's almost learned to experience these energies as autonomous intelligent beings that arise in order to help the human organism continue intelligently towards it's own unique destiny. I love it!
Here are four of the questions she suggested we might be able to utilize when we're trying to dialogue with really difficult emotions:
When anger arises: "What needs to be protected?"
When fear is present: "What action needs to be taken?"
When sadness presses down on us: "What needs to be released?"
When a suicidal urge exists: "What needs to be killed?" (The answer to this is not ever going to be "me" according to Karla, who understands that ALL emotions work to help you experience more abundance in your life).
From her own experience as a survivor of childhood trauma, however, Karla learned the hard way that "bad" emotions do not disappear just because we call them names and try to shut them out. In fact, they seem to only grow in ferocity and then erupt unconsciously. Some of the greatest minds and hearts of all time have agreed with this sentiment, FYI (Buddha, Jung, Rumi). From my own experience working with difficult emotions, I too completely agree that this lop-sided strategy is a sad mismanagement of a brilliant kind of intelligence!
Karla teaches us that we can begin to trust ourselves to dialogue with our emotions by learning the function of each emotion first. She talks about how free-flowing anger allows us to understand our own boundaries, while fear signals us to pay attention and take appropriate action. She goes on to redeem even the most shunned emotional experiences -- such as jealousy, envy, major depression, and even suicidal urges. It's as if she's almost learned to experience these energies as autonomous intelligent beings that arise in order to help the human organism continue intelligently towards it's own unique destiny. I love it!
Here are four of the questions she suggested we might be able to utilize when we're trying to dialogue with really difficult emotions:
When anger arises: "What needs to be protected?"
When fear is present: "What action needs to be taken?"
When sadness presses down on us: "What needs to be released?"
When a suicidal urge exists: "What needs to be killed?" (The answer to this is not ever going to be "me" according to Karla, who understands that ALL emotions work to help you experience more abundance in your life).
Here's the full transcript of Karla's interview in case you prefer to read instead of listen to it.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Rosa Parks!
I am absolutely devoted to the practice of "Active Imagination" as a method for remembering what we already know. One of my favorite examples of how this practice can be so powerful came to me via advice I received from an amazing energy intuitive named Marie Manuchehri. She told me that I should regularly visit an imaginal space within myself where I could dialogue with being I respect. These beings could be alive or dead, historical or spiritual, personally known or unknown, etc. During one of these Active Imagination exercises, I wound up having a stunning conversation with Rosa Parks.
And here's the fundamental wisdom she shared with me during that time: Rosa said that she had to believe wholeheartedly that she really mattered. And it was only this deep inner conviction that allowed her to live outside of overwhelming fear, oppression, violence, and hate. She said she did not realize it at the time, but it was precisely by acting out this conviction that her own experience mattered just as much as anyone else's that empowered other people to liberate themselves similarly.
Beautiful, Rosa! I'm trying to remember that humble, brilliant example as often as I can lately.
And here's the fundamental wisdom she shared with me during that time: Rosa said that she had to believe wholeheartedly that she really mattered. And it was only this deep inner conviction that allowed her to live outside of overwhelming fear, oppression, violence, and hate. She said she did not realize it at the time, but it was precisely by acting out this conviction that her own experience mattered just as much as anyone else's that empowered other people to liberate themselves similarly.
Beautiful, Rosa! I'm trying to remember that humble, brilliant example as often as I can lately.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Projections
If you imagine someone who is brave enough to withdraw all his projections, then you get an individual who is conscious of a pretty thick shadow. Such a man has saddled himself with new problems and conflicts. He has become a serious prob
lem to himself, as he is now unable to say that they do this or that, they are wrong, and they must be fought against. He lives in the "House of the Gathering." Such a man knows that whatever is wrong in the world is in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow he has done something real for the world. He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved social problems of our day.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Rumi
Collaborative Intelligence
"A fantastic model of collaboration: thinking partners who aren't echo chambers". - Margaret Heffernan
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Imaginal Intelligence
Imagination is another one of those intelligences that gets so much praise in our early development before it becomes subjected to a full-fledged beating by the systems that value immediately tangible results. Tragically, it's often our schools and workplaces that are the greatest adversaries of imaginal intelligence. I say 'tragically' because after the age of 5, we will likely spend most of our waking hours in one of those two environments. The great irony of all of this is that our schools and workplaces are set up in order to teach or facilitate ideas that have their origins in the genius of human imagination. I might even argue that ALL great innovators, leaders, artists, and thinkers have been aided by the intelligence of their own imagination.
So here's a fun exercise for affirming the sacred intelligence our own imaginations: IMAGINE a panel of your favorite geniuses (be they social, creative, spiritual, or scientific). Seriously.
Now, look around at who has assembled and how they have assembled. Are you indoors, out of doors, seated at a long or round table? Or is a casual social gathering? Really look and see who's there and how you are all interacting with each other. Trust whatever arises.
And then start naming names. Einstein? Buddha? Jesus? Martin Luther King Jr? William Shakespeare? Justin Bieber? Seriously. This is personal and there's no right or wrong answer. So simply name the crowd at your gathering by actually looking to see who's there.
Next, I want you to address one of them and ask them about the role imagination played in their life on Earth. Ask the question sincerely, and then allow this imaginal figure to answer you just as sincerely. Here's a tip: it doesn't matter if you think you're making this all up in your imagination. In fact, that's the whole point.
If you wind up enjoying yourself or gaining anything useful, feel free to ask other guests other questions about anything at all you've ever wanted to know!
I'll post the information I once gathered from my imaginal conversation with Rosa Parks soon!
So here's a fun exercise for affirming the sacred intelligence our own imaginations: IMAGINE a panel of your favorite geniuses (be they social, creative, spiritual, or scientific). Seriously.
Now, look around at who has assembled and how they have assembled. Are you indoors, out of doors, seated at a long or round table? Or is a casual social gathering? Really look and see who's there and how you are all interacting with each other. Trust whatever arises.
And then start naming names. Einstein? Buddha? Jesus? Martin Luther King Jr? William Shakespeare? Justin Bieber? Seriously. This is personal and there's no right or wrong answer. So simply name the crowd at your gathering by actually looking to see who's there.
Next, I want you to address one of them and ask them about the role imagination played in their life on Earth. Ask the question sincerely, and then allow this imaginal figure to answer you just as sincerely. Here's a tip: it doesn't matter if you think you're making this all up in your imagination. In fact, that's the whole point.
If you wind up enjoying yourself or gaining anything useful, feel free to ask other guests other questions about anything at all you've ever wanted to know!
I'll post the information I once gathered from my imaginal conversation with Rosa Parks soon!
The Energy Trinity
As both a psychotherapist and a human being, I regularly relate to the role that destructive energy plays in every person's living experience. We often feel as if we might be "destroyed" by outer circumstances or inner mood states. In fact, the reason people sometimes seek counseling in the first place is out of fear that certain relationships are at risk of being destroyed. Or perhaps a person has an experience that threatens to destroy their own belief systems about themselves or the world around them. I know we've all been in one of those places on more than one occasion (maybe even more than one occasion per day).
Typically, we think of destruction as something that is categorically bad all of the time and so there is usually a deep sense shame associated with this experience as well. But after years of witnessing this process in both myself and others I have come to a slightly different conclusion about the nature of destructive energy.
Something that helps me relate to this particular energy with curiosity instead of judgment arises from the wisdom I've encountered in the Hindu tradition. Similar to Christianity's effort to grasp the mysterious nature of The Divine, Hinduism also suggests that this can be best understood via the idea of a Divine Trinity. The Hindu names for these figures are Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva. The represent Creative Energy, Sustaining Energy, and Destructive Energy respectively. I won't go into great detail here - but suffice it to say that the legacy of this triad teaches us that without all three players in place, each of those particular energies would become wildly unchecked and throw everything in existence off balance.
Consequently, I like to think of these three energies as representations of the conditions of this particular time-space reality. In other words, these manifest energies are the three laws that govern our existence. And because we are subject to the conditions of this reality, we owe all three energies equal attention and reverence at all times.
Additionally, as both offspring and inhabitants of this particular time-space reality, we are constantly manifesting energy that is linked to creation, preservation, and destruction whether we are conscious of it or not. We can see this most readily in many of our biological processes, which is why discovering how the individual and collective body works gives rise to such remarkable achievements in areas like medicine or personal athleticism.
So, the really exciting news about this whole notion is that we can also bring this same light of attention to our psychological, relational, and emotional realities. From that vantage point, we may even begin to develop our kind of intelligence about how to utilize these three forces to promote healthy balance in those kind of processes too. Consciousness about this reality allows us to have some personal agency in the process, which is hugely empowering! The alternative option (i.e. choosing to remain unconscious) will not change our necessary relationship to any of these energies, but it will certainly block our capacity to make decisions about the ways in which they are wielded in our lives.
And here's the fun part: developing a conscious relationship to how these energies operate within you can become one of the best practices for re-discovering your own natural, sacred genius.
Typically, we think of destruction as something that is categorically bad all of the time and so there is usually a deep sense shame associated with this experience as well. But after years of witnessing this process in both myself and others I have come to a slightly different conclusion about the nature of destructive energy.
Something that helps me relate to this particular energy with curiosity instead of judgment arises from the wisdom I've encountered in the Hindu tradition. Similar to Christianity's effort to grasp the mysterious nature of The Divine, Hinduism also suggests that this can be best understood via the idea of a Divine Trinity. The Hindu names for these figures are Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva. The represent Creative Energy, Sustaining Energy, and Destructive Energy respectively. I won't go into great detail here - but suffice it to say that the legacy of this triad teaches us that without all three players in place, each of those particular energies would become wildly unchecked and throw everything in existence off balance.
Consequently, I like to think of these three energies as representations of the conditions of this particular time-space reality. In other words, these manifest energies are the three laws that govern our existence. And because we are subject to the conditions of this reality, we owe all three energies equal attention and reverence at all times.
Additionally, as both offspring and inhabitants of this particular time-space reality, we are constantly manifesting energy that is linked to creation, preservation, and destruction whether we are conscious of it or not. We can see this most readily in many of our biological processes, which is why discovering how the individual and collective body works gives rise to such remarkable achievements in areas like medicine or personal athleticism.
So, the really exciting news about this whole notion is that we can also bring this same light of attention to our psychological, relational, and emotional realities. From that vantage point, we may even begin to develop our kind of intelligence about how to utilize these three forces to promote healthy balance in those kind of processes too. Consciousness about this reality allows us to have some personal agency in the process, which is hugely empowering! The alternative option (i.e. choosing to remain unconscious) will not change our necessary relationship to any of these energies, but it will certainly block our capacity to make decisions about the ways in which they are wielded in our lives.
And here's the fun part: developing a conscious relationship to how these energies operate within you can become one of the best practices for re-discovering your own natural, sacred genius.
Morning Poem by Mary Oliver
Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange
sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again
and fasten themselves to the high branches ---
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands
of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails
for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it
the thorn
that is heavier than lead ---
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging ---
there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted ---
each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,
whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.
the world
is created.
Under the orange
sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again
and fasten themselves to the high branches ---
and the ponds appear
like black cloth
on which are painted islands
of summer lilies.
If it is your nature
to be happy
you will swim away along the soft trails
for hours, your imagination
alighting everywhere.
And if your spirit
carries within it
the thorn
that is heavier than lead ---
if it's all you can do
to keep on trudging ---
there is still
somewhere deep within you
a beast shouting that the earth
is exactly what it wanted ---
each pond with its blazing lilies
is a prayer heard and answered
lavishly,
every morning,
whether or not
you have ever dared to be happy,
whether or not
you have ever dared to pray.
Remembering.
One of the most important things that babies do to ensure their survival is that they do not inhibit full-bodied emotional expression. They trust that natural intelligence coursing through them and allow for it to manifest authentically as a result. They cry out when they need something, and it allows their caretakers to know when to feed them/clean them/rock them/touch and hold them/make eye contact with them, etc. This then enables them to survive, grow, and perhaps even learn how this ever-developing expression of intelligence might allow them to support the entire species' immediate growth and survival as well.
Unfortunately, by the time we've reached adulthood we've often received so many mixed messages about whether or not we can trust our natural intelligence that we begin to mistrust some of our survival-linked impulses too. I think that the consequences of that inner-breach are absolutely devastating PRECISELY because that kind of internalized mistrust risks threatening our very survival most of all. It seems to me that the real threat arises when we no longer have access to a reliable relationship with our instinctual ways of perceiving information.
I don't mean to suggest that we surrender to every instinct, but instead that we learn to understand and work with the intelligent information that those instincts can contain. Without this basic trust in our natural intelligence, we often began to ignore what we know and ultimately run the risk of misunderstanding what's really happening in any given moment.
Furthermore, this kind of suspicious or dismissive attitude toward ourselves creates a kind of inner-violence and neglect that will manifest in our outer world as well. No one has ever said it better than whomever first said "violence begets violence". It's often hard to understand or remember the origin of the original injury, but suffice it to say: inner violence begets outer violence and vice versa.
The good news is that we can break this cycle of violence by turning inward with a different kind of attitude. Often times it is too big of a leap to move from an inner attitude of suspicion and neglect to one of reverence and love. For myself, however, I have discovered that I can approach almost anything with simple curiosity. Curiously, I have also discovered that curiosity is really the only ingredient needed to begin.
Unfortunately, by the time we've reached adulthood we've often received so many mixed messages about whether or not we can trust our natural intelligence that we begin to mistrust some of our survival-linked impulses too. I think that the consequences of that inner-breach are absolutely devastating PRECISELY because that kind of internalized mistrust risks threatening our very survival most of all. It seems to me that the real threat arises when we no longer have access to a reliable relationship with our instinctual ways of perceiving information.
I don't mean to suggest that we surrender to every instinct, but instead that we learn to understand and work with the intelligent information that those instincts can contain. Without this basic trust in our natural intelligence, we often began to ignore what we know and ultimately run the risk of misunderstanding what's really happening in any given moment.
Furthermore, this kind of suspicious or dismissive attitude toward ourselves creates a kind of inner-violence and neglect that will manifest in our outer world as well. No one has ever said it better than whomever first said "violence begets violence". It's often hard to understand or remember the origin of the original injury, but suffice it to say: inner violence begets outer violence and vice versa.
The good news is that we can break this cycle of violence by turning inward with a different kind of attitude. Often times it is too big of a leap to move from an inner attitude of suspicion and neglect to one of reverence and love. For myself, however, I have discovered that I can approach almost anything with simple curiosity. Curiously, I have also discovered that curiosity is really the only ingredient needed to begin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)